Why I cannot get myself to watch an entire episode of "Newlyweds," and other profound thoughts

From what I understand, the premise of "Newlyweds" is that Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are a married couple whose life as newlyweds is the subject of a reality TV show. So what does it mean that, during one episode, we see Jessica shopping at some boutique, being hounded by paparazzi, and whining about it--how can she complain about being photographed while being, well, photographed? It's not as if the paparazzi are trying to take pictures of anything inappropriate, since the folks shooting "Newlyweds" are there as well. Someone whose career involves having her entire life filmed, who complains about people taking her picture, cannot possibly be taken seriously. While I realize that Jessica Simpson is not supposed to be taken seriously, this is just too much...

So, switched to Paula Zahn on CNN. Reagan's adopted son tells of how his dad offered his kids $500 each if they reached 21 and had never smoked or drunk. He failed, but tried the same method (adjusted for inflation) on his own kids, and says he paid his daughter $5,000 when she turned 21. One question (aside from the obvious, which is how on earth would parents know if their kids are telling the truth about this): Why not include "snort" on the list? Or "shoot up"? Loopholes, loopholes...

Hot & Crusty, the bakery chain, was open on Christmas Eve! I love New York. Hot & Crusty had a sign up with a lengthy list of instructions for the person working at the register. Apparently a bagel is taxable only if has been sliced in half, if it has something spread on it, or if it is eaten inside the establishment; an untouched bagel, purchased "to go," cannot be taxed. Why?

...Christmas plans involve seeing old friends from high school and, with them, further taking advantage of all NYC has to offer on Christmas day. Chinese food and movies may be involved, but ideally we will not resort to this.