Monday, January 31, 2005

Civil rights, Frank Costanza-style

Ugh, bad news.

The problem (and it's certainly been referred to before as a "Problem") is that Jews are eternally in a no-win situation. Europe didn't like Jews when they were in Europe, and now that they've mostly been driven out, still no luck. It is very depressing. So the only answer is to say, we're here, we're queer, get used to it, with "queer" being used, of course, to mean peculiar. (Those Jews who happen also to be queer in the original sense of the slogan may, of course, lay claim to both.) Rather than go off on tirades saying, "Israel isn't so bad, yes, we know it is a flawed country" (what country isn't?) or, "Jews aren't so bad, but yes, we need to shape up, move to Israel to get out of your hair... Oh no, we mean, we should leave Israel, because Zionism=racism," and so forth, Jews need to just shrug our collective shoulders and say, whether in Tel Aviv or Paris or New York or rural, Red-State America: "We're not going anywhere." As Frank Costanza said of himself and his wife Estelle, when telling Jerry's parents that, like it or not, the Costanzas are moving to Del Boca Vista: "You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!"

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