I wrote this essay on the Christmas debate my second year of college. It appeared in the Chicago Criterion, which is not, ahem, online, or at least no recent (and several years old includes recent) issues are online. My point was that Christmas, to remain Christmas and not "the holidays," cannot be a national holiday in the U.S., and that conservatives are mistaken in their efforts to "save" Christmas, when making it a holiday for all Americans means that either a) Americans all become Christians, or b) Christmas becomes a generic, areligious holiday. While conservatives might want "a" to happen, they can't exactly say so, which means that their argument leads nowhere. And so forth. But the problem I have at the moment has nothing to do with who calls which tree what kind of Chanukkah bush, but rather how to get an article I only have a scanned copy of, in Microsoft Word, online. Comments more than welcome.