Some expletives with your coffee?

Today I was about to get into the train at Astor Place, when I saw a truck selling coffee. Not a cart, but a big, brightly-colored hippie truck. It was really, really cold out, so cold that whatever was sold by the hippies in the truck was sure to be fabulous.

"Do you know what the only thing is cooler than a mohawk?," asked the barista.

"What?" -me.

"Two mohawks."

Sure enough, there was a not-teenaged man standing behind me--this was near the cube, although to be honest, I don't even remember if they put it back, I always just picture it being there--wearing his hair in two parallel mohawks. With him was another, also middle-aged, punk, with no punk look but plenty of attitude. Punk #2 chastized hippie barista #1 (there was only one, and, to his credit, he didn't appear to be that much of a hippie) for being on his turf and for selling "asshole coffee." I told the barista that I was "looking forward to my asshole coffee." Given that it was freezing, windy, whatever, I had to explain, loudly, what this was in reference to. And, at well under $3 for a cappuccino, it was one of the more reasonably priced "asshole coffees" I've ever encountered. And it was most delicious.

But seriously, two grievances: 1) I am too old to be a punk, so these men surely were way too old to be punks. If you are too old, no, old enough for John Derbyshire to find you attractive when nude, then you are too old to be a punk. And 2) While "asshole coffee" is, admittedly, a clever name for "cappuccinos," "macchiatos," and the like, if you're going to protest its existence, why pick on some schlumpy hippie truck that charges well under the "asshole coffee" norm? Why not head over to Prince or University and yell at Dean and Deluca, where coffee and a muffin have been in the $6 range at least since I was in high school (which, given that I am too old to be a punk, was a while ago at this point).