I'm not picky

I would like to find an apartment with the following traits:

1) A dishwasher.
2) A dish washer (searching for both on Craigslist expands the set of possible apartments).
3) Near a train that might actually be of use (i.e. not the M or G).
4) Enough room for two people.
5) By #4 I mean nothing "cozy," nothing "perfect for a student," and most of all, nothing that involves "five young professionals looking for a roommate" who for whatever reason decide to list their available room on Craigslist as if it were a free-standing one bedroom. To those who list their $1200/month one-bedrooms in the West Village, you're not fooling anyone.
6) In a neighborhood where people tend not to get shot. My old block in Brooklyn had a shooting or two, and Hyde Park, where to begin? So, somewhere gentrified enough that shootings, say, are rare enough that they make it to the news.
7) The need to live near-ish to NYU eliminates the Bronx and Staten Island from the search; as #3 made clear, all of Brooklyn, Queens, and (as if) Manhattan are fair game, assuming train reasonableness.

Other people do care about the following. I do not:

1) Near a park.
2) Exposed brick.
3) Hardwood floors.
4) Good schools in the area.
5) On-site parking.
6) Exciting nightlife nearby.
7) A community of recent college grads. I'm fine with a community of recent immigrants, recent retirees, recent Chabad devotees, anything but recent purchasers of handguns or explosives. In terms of neighbors, almost anything goes.