Friday, January 20, 2006

Brangelopticon

Now that I've outed myself as an over-shoulder subway reader, here goes:

A woman standing next to me today on the train, wearing the exact same Brooklyn Industries coat that I was (which is hardly worth mentioning, as so is half of Park Slope), was reading one of the free dailies. The headline was something like, "Enough Brangefetus* Mania Already!" And sure enough, there was an accompanying picture of Angelina Jolie, carrying some preexisting, non-Pitt-related, faux-hawk-sporting child whose name escapes me.

While the Brangefetus may well be over-hyped, those who don't care to read about it don't have to. A young man sitting near us looked quite content with his Talmud, and I'm almost certain the offspring of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie never make an appearance there. Clearly the appeal of the anti-Brangefetamania article comes from the fact that this mania continues, and will continue, at least until the Brangeadolescent goes through its awkward stage.

*For the record, in the category of celebrity unborn children, I much prefer the name "Federletus," referring of course to the mini-Spears. "Brangefetus" sounds like a disease, most likely fungal.

4 comments:

kei said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kei said...

(sorry, found some problematic typos!)

Maddox is now a relation to Pitt. It was reported today, in Chicago's nasty free daily the RedEye, that a court OK'd a request for Maddox and Zahara (the Ethipoian infant) to take on Pitt's name. So now, they are Maddox Jolie-Pitt and Zahara Jolie-Pitt. The combination of these children and their parents make them "Eurasfrican." And yes, I agree, "Brangefetus" sounds like a fungal foot disease.

Phoebe said...

You definitely prove your pop-culture-knowledge cred by knowing the named of both of Angelina Jolie's children. My only question is, where does Europe enter into it? Why isn't the family Whiteameriasiafrican? Or, better yet, Beautirichcrazyetstrangelyboringdespiteallthat?

kei said...

Oh, I was just assuming that both Pitt and Jolie are by descent in some way or another, European. I just looked this up: Wikipedia states that Jolie is "of Czech, French Canadian, English, and Iroquois descent," while Pitt had "Southern Baptist parents of mainly English and Irish descent." While my assumption was somewhat right, this complicates things to astronomical proportions in terms of combination names. Let us stick with your 2 suggestions, the latter being the more appropriate one.