Not that there's anything wrong with that

Tonight I went with one of my friends to a lesbian bar. I was looking for something to do, and they would be showing "The L Word," which I'd never seen. Plus, I'd heard good things about the place from people including gay men and straight women, so I figured why not? So, some observations:

1) This is the only bar I've ever been to that has "low calorie" cocktails. Who, exactly, is the target audience? Wouldn't such an option make more sense in the hetero post-college yuppie bars of Yorkville or Murray Hill, or in Chelsea, rather than at a lesbian bar in Park Slope?

2) In one scene in "The L Word," a character on the road to transitioning from a woman to a man gets rather graphically involved with a (gay, male) character played by Alan Cumming. It appears that the non-Cumming actor is playing the, ahem, active role in the proceedings. This does not seem physically possible, and while some more knowledgeable types informed me of the various attachable equipment presumably involved, it still doesn't quite make sense for a variety of reasons. Little illogical things like this always get to me. Also confusing to me was why a butch, presumably female-preferring character and a gay male character would be so passionately coupled off, but I figured that as a "'respectful' hetero," or more importantly as someone who'd missed maybe the first 15 minutes of the show, I should only ask so many questions.

3) I repel lesbians. It's a fact. Women who like women do not like me, at least not in that way. I'd noticed this before, but never had it been quite so obvious. The intently cruising women cruised right past me without so much as looking over. I'm not exactly an over-the-top, walking straight-girl stereotype--highlighted hair, a French manicure, sorority sweatshirt, Kate Spade purse, etc.--so what is going on? Where is the big sign that says, "I like boys," is it on my forehead such that only lesbians can see it?