The above image is the best thing that's ever been on Gawker. A poodle would never threaten that an international catastrophe was imminent. A poodle would never plagiarize. And (opening this up a bit) a poodle might want to spend $150,000 on new clothes, but it would probably settle for a few hundreds' worth of grooming costs. And, as anyone who's ever taken German at the CUNY grad center knows, der Pudel can keep people entertained for three-hour grammar sessions--why not four-to-eight years?