Monday, April 16, 2007

Israel vs. Belgium, according to guidebooks:

Israelis are happy to spend a whole night drinking just one beer. Belgium, known for its beer, is not as drunken as other beer-drinking lands, because Belgians savor the beverage. Not sure if I believe either, but anyway...

Tel Aviv is named after the city in Theodor Herzl's Altneuland. Antwerp might mean "hand-throwing."

In Israel, you might get attacked on account of being in Israel, but chances are slim. In Belgium, if you're dressed in an identifiably Jewish way and turn the wrong corner in Antwerp, someone might Vlaams Blok you out of commission, but again, chances are slim. Relatedly...

Belgium is known for its suicide rate; Israel for its suicide bombings. But it's not all bad! Because...

Israel is filled with tanned, fit women in bikinis and sexy gun-carrying types of both sexes. Belgium is filled with the world's best chocolate and fries. No country could be both these things. And finally...

Israel is divided into two ethnic groups which, though they look alike and have not entirely dissimilar histories, are not too fond of each other. Same goes for Belgium.

Even when the French-Jewish studies stop for like five seconds, the learning goes on...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll have a piece of both of them... bli gvinah!!

Phoebe said...

Betach!