Friday, March 28, 2008

How not to be taken seriously

Inspired by Rita's accurate explanation of what a woman must not write about to be taken seriously, here are my unserious thoughts of the hour. I will redeem myself (for myself, at any rate) via interpretation of 1840s French-Jewish newspaper kerfuffles. But if I put that on the blog, I know, thanks to JSTOR, exactly how many people currently living would find it interesting, and the answer is, at best, three. So here goes:

-Are these my shoes?

-What should I ask for tomorrow when I go in for what's amounting to a yearly haircut? (We get paid in wine and cheese, not hair-and-makeup, so I have to ration.) I'm thinking a trim all around (I'm not just too grad-student-budgeted for frequent $60 haircuts, I'm also growing my hair out) and the reformulation of bangs out of what is starting to look like early-90s Jennifer Aniston "layers." Ick. I wouldn't mind something like this, minus the Sarkozy.

-My inner Upper East Side lady-who-lunches thinks this is fabulous. My 5'2" reality suggests that this would probably hit my ankles. Thoughts?

-Speaking of being small, sorry, but no. Being tall would be great. I'd like to be able to reach stuff in my own apartment (I live with a tall person, which is how stuff got so high up in the first place). I wouldn't mind being able to choose between the handle and the pole on the subway. Maybe for once I could buy a pair of pants and not tack on another $10-15 to the cost for hemming. "And even though people tell me I’m beautiful and I should be a model, there are times when I would trade in my long legs for a petite frame and tiny feet." Yes, that was me shedding a single tear.

7 comments:

FLG said...

J'aurais préféré les kerkuffles.

Nevertheless, I sense some sort of passive-aggressive exasperation.

Also, buy the Land's End jacket. Seriously, it's cute.

Withywindle said...

Go as MSI's id.

Anonymous said...

Tall is one thing, but 6'4"? That's monstrous.

Phoebe Maltz Bovy said...

FLG: I might, I might.

Withywindle: A good amount of my hair was once that color. Too much upkeep.

Whitney: I can't even imagine life at 5'6", let alone 6'4". You're probably right.

Miss Self-Important said...

Something more purplish would be better, actually. At least my id gets some relief in Second Life from the ongoing tyranny of superego.

Miss Self-Important said...

Also, I thought your hair looked like a healthy cross between cute and cool.

Phoebe Maltz Bovy said...

MSI #1: I guess in Second Life you don't have to buy Manic Panic hairdye once a week for touch-ups.

MSI #2: Why thank you!