Wednesday, January 07, 2009

"When a guy approaches you in a bar, regardless of your attraction for him, you: [...]"

Once Amber removed the link to a blog dedicated to men's 'game', I of course became curious. Unfortunately link-removal can have that effect.

The site struck me as more pathetic than evil, evoking a bad SNL sketch set at a disco-type nightclub. The blog's persona is that of a man who can't get a girlfriend or wife choosing to look at this inability as in fact a macho rejection of being 'whipped', a deliberate choice to be in bars insulting women rather than at home sleeping with one.

This Roissy's ignorance of women is remarkable, and at times entertaining. For example, he thinks there are women whose appearance is not improved by carefully-applied makeup. There aren't. He advises women to smile at strange men in bars, even if those men are unattractive; to go out of their way to praise anatomy that's better left not commented on; and to orgasm from whatever sexual act happens to please the man they're with, simply because women should be that giving. Again, it's an unintentionally (?) amusing read, more likely to hurt men, I think, than women. Some man without much going for him is probably at this very moment at a bar, asking a woman to buy him a drink, and failing miserably.

9 comments:

Miss Self-Important said...

Omg, this is the worst blog ever. Stop the linkage; you're only feeding the beast.

Amber said...

Yeah, that's why I deleted the link.

Amber said...

Public service: Someone make stickers with his picture and put them in ladies' rooms at all DC nightspots.

Phoebe said...

I think referring to him without the link runs the risk of taking him and his 'wisdom' too seriously. It's clear enough from what he writes that he's inept in the very field in which he's claiming expertise, but since it appears some men don't see this, it can't hurt pointing that out.

Andrew Stevens said...

The sad thing is that I have no real doubt that he's pretty successful with women. Thanks to Amber's link above, we can see what he looks like. The person who posted the picture said, "In my opinion, he's no Brad Pitt." Of course he isn't, but I have no doubt that, looking as he does, and with his sense of humor, he has no difficulty with women. (As for his sense of humor, I assume we are all aware that "Roissy" was the name of the chateau in "The Story of O.")

I am always astonished how many women seems to believe they are experts on "what works on women." It is a rare man who would claim to know "what works on men," men being more willing to acknowledge that we're not all alike. I have no doubts that Roissy's tactics would not work on you, Phoebe, but I strongly suspect that you are not the sort of girl who is normally inclined to go home and sleep with a guy you just met. Assuming I'm correct, I find it puzzling that you think you know what tactics would succeed with such women. I'm sure you'll be appalled to hear this, but I can personally guarantee that there are women who could read his blog from top to bottom and would still sleep with him, though I doubt he gives out his blog address at bars. I also doubt he personally uses very many of the "tactics" he recommends. The blog is just his schtick. Nevertheless, as appalling as it may be to feminists, there are any number of young women in the world with low self-esteem who genuinely are happy to sleep with a dominant man who will, well, dominate them. They are by no means the majority, but they're not a tiny minority either.

Phoebe said...

Andrew Stevens,

I'm not an expert on what works on anyone, but I'm not sure how my prudishness or promiscuousness, real or imagined, enters into it. I don't doubt blog celebrity works to get attention from one's preferred sex(es), so I wouldn't be surprised if Roissy himself has parlayed what appears to be a popular blog into... whatever it is he wants. Whatever 'dominant' quality he has comes from having the blog. But in general, I don't see how these 'techniques' work, and here's why: You conflate 'women who want casual sex' with 'non-feminist women with low self-esteem.' There's nothing anti-feminist about interest in sleeping with a man met at a bar. And, crucially, 'dominance', either sexual or professional (fame, money, what have you) is different from misogyny. Roissy's claim seems to be that women will be seduced by a man who fundamentally hates women, on account of his hatred of women. That's a) why feminists don't like him, and b) why men who follow his suggestions will not get the 'best' women, as promised.

Andrew Stevens said...

I did not actually make the conflation that you claim. However, anybody who hasn't noticed the correlation between low self-esteem (in both women and men) and promiscuity simply isn't paying attention. Whether this is biological or because of the society we live in, I have no opinion on. (It is, of course, possible that low self-esteem leads to promiscuity only because society frowns on the behavior.) Low self-esteem isn't the only reason for excessive promiscuity (a childish desire for instant gratification is another large factor), but it's the biggest. Roissy, by the looks of it, suffers from both problems. As a former hyper-masculinized adolescent myself, I rather pity Roissy. Worse, given his apparent age, it's not even clear that he'll grow out of it. (Some people never do.)

You are, of course, correct about Roissy's misogyny (common in men who are hyper-masculinizing, either due to lack of a father or for other reasons), but I doubt that either that or his blog ever really come up in his "seductions." That Roissy's strategies won't work to get a man the "best" women, we can both agree on. Indeed, I think that rather goes without saying. But most of his advice consists of using humor and a confident attitude to acquire a succession of casual sexual partners. And that will work, even if it may not work on the "best" women. When I was younger, I would always tell people who asked me my "secret" that it was amazing the number of women who would have sex with you if you just asked them to and didn't really care that much how they responded.

anon said...

But most of his advice consists of using humor and a confident attitude to acquire a succession of casual sexual partners....When I was younger, I would always tell people who asked me my "secret" that it was amazing the number of women who would have sex with you if you just asked them to and didn't really care that much how they responded.

No, no. Roissy isn't about being funny and cocky and confident (which women do like). He hates women because they make him feel weak. It's different. The blog is about misogyny, not pickup. He likes the idea of picking up women because he conceives of sex as a form of revenge on women. I doubt he likes sex as a sensual or bonding experience very much at all, it's all a big grudge fuck.

Anonymous said...

The only reason any of you are having this discussion is that much of the material discussed in that blog works. This says more about women than about men.