Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Semi-live debate-blogging, the "Joe the Plumber" edition

-The moderator is the only living man older than McCain. This can't hurt the Republican.

-Maybe McCain doesn't want to keep mentioning elderly, ill members of the political establishment (Ted Kennedy, now Nancy Reagan).

-Did Obama dye part of his hair gray? If so, it's super convincing.

-Yes! An anecdote about a plumber named Joe! Six-pack alert! Whee! "Joe the plumber." Awesome.

-Obama also calls him "Joe the plumber." If I were Joe I'd be maybe a little miffed.

-OMG more "Joe the plumber," now from McCain. ARGH.

-"During the Depression era" is not how McCain should begin a sentence. It's not ageism. It's Palinphobia.

-Nodded off there for a bit. (Me, not McCain.)

-Hmm, never a good idea to defend far-right mobs-gone-wild. Defending Republicans, that's reasonable. Defending what might well be the lead up to a political assassination, less so.

-OK, this Ayers stuff can't continue without bringing up Palin's ties to Alaskan-independence loonies. Anything, or is Obama too classy?

-So far, too classy.

-So very classy. I would not have been able to remain composed during McCain calling Palin a "bref of thresh" air.

-Nononono Obama, don't be too classy to take down Palin!

-I want in on this Canadian oil. I thought they only did syrup. Have I mentioned I'm in the humanities?

-Is this him? (Sorry, got distracted.)

-Uh oh, what if Obama just overestimated how old some working-class women he shook hands with were? 50-something, or just not as Botoxed as the coastal elites he's used to?

-Mmm, interesting. In other news, I think McCain just advocated gym class.

-NOOOOO say it ain't so, Joe the Plumber! Is he like the only person whose vote counts in this election? So much for the Florida elderly.

-Too cute! I might have to become a vegetarian. Not that I've ever eaten goat, but still. In other news, I'd rather not have my health care benefits taxed.

-Let Joe be! This is just too much responsibility for one man, being Mr. Folksy America all on his own.

-I think Senator Government might want Obama to Jew the job. But I wasn't totally listening. McCain may have saved each of these syllables in time.

-Hmm, smashmortion time.

-Does "ideology," pronounced "idiology," mean that McCain thinks Ruth Bader Ginsburg is not that bright?

-"We have to change the culture of America." Because the last eight years, the president of this country was a Democrat, right?

-There's a "pro-abortion movement"? Really?

-Now, edumacation. Our math and science education is not up to par? Is that why there's a damn ferner scientist sitting right next to me at this very moment?

-Obama, pro-college elitist. The nerve.

-Obama just told parents to "turn off the television." Is this a sign that the X-rated portion of the debate is about to commence?

-Uhoh, McCain is also pro-college. What about plumbing school? Joe will not be pleased.


Anonymous said...

HA!! I love it Phoebe! You're cracking me up here! And yeah, those goats are pretty darn cute!

Anonymous said...

Good evening, Ms. Phoebe. You don't know me, but I just wanted to congratulate you on being the first ever Google hit to mention the "jew the job" bit. Welcome to internet history!

Anonymous said...

Joe the Plumber speaks!!!

He's apparently operating under the delusion that he's not Matt Damon.

Anonymous said...

Nicely done : )

Unknown said...

I find your latest post to be quite puzzling.

What do you mean you've never eaten goat?

Shocking. simply shocking. ;D