Guide to NYC

For a while now I've wanted to write a guide to New York City. I'm uniquely qualified to do this, having experienced both the East 57th-96th Street region that is New York for the rich and timid, and the broader gloriousness of the outer boroughs, except Staten Island, since I'm not sure what I think about Staten Island and have been as yet too closed-minded to find out. My guide to New York would lead the curious to the following: nearest public or semi-public restrooms, nearest purveyor of good iced coffee, best muffins, best sushi on a student or otherwise pathetic budget, sites of my various high school humiliations (each of which the City of New York, or perhaps the Department of Education, has helpfully noted with a plaque), least New York-like spots within city limits, spots with the highest concentration of good-looking Israeli expats, tiniest one-block-only streets, best Brazilian clothing, most unlikely Tasti-d-Lite locations.... I would say, you get the idea, but there is no idea. I doubt if this will become a book, but it's likely to become a feature of this blog.

First installment: Foods which surely contain crack, MSG, or something else similarly addictive.

Vegetarian Dim Sum House--I am neither a vegetarian nor all that enthusiastic about Chinese food in general, but I keep going back for more. MSG, at all?

Blue Sky Bakery--There is something in these muffins. Once you have a muffin from this place, you will not be able to have a muffin from anywhere else. You may not be able to even do anything else with the rest of your life, aside from eat these muffins. What makes them so great? Probably having not that many ingredients, that they're made on-site, that they have a nice sugar crust, who knows. I'd say MSG but that seems highly unlikely. Nothing to do with the muffins, but they have a very hipster crowd for Park Slope, thus helping to bridge the North-South Brooklyn divide.

Original Shawarma--Best falafel anywhere. It's on Kings Highway and East 4th Street in Brooklyn, is a hole-in-the-wall type of place, and does not, shockingly, appear to have a website. Not the best post-lunch, mid-bike-ride snack, as I soon learned, but all the same, it's worth it. While there for maybe five minutes, I got to hear a man flip out because his "hummus katan im salat" was taking too long, and another flip out because the place's kosher certification was nowhere to be found. Whether such things add to or detract from a falafel experience is for each of us to decide.