To whom it may concern,

I will not be attending this evening's UChicago Young Alumni Happy Hour, because I can't convince my roommates that it will be super awesome (one's been before, and word spreads), because I've changed into sweatpants, and because Katherine has some sort of TV-show DVD, and gosh I miss television. Oh, and because, true to UChicago stereotype, the thought of going by myself into a room full of people I don't know, even knowing that drinking will be involved, is kind of frightening.