A trans-fat-free night at the Reg

I'm suggestible more than I am health conscious, so I am now avoiding trans fats. This is problematic, however, as I have a physci problem set due tomorrow, and, as red wine goes with steak and white wine with seafood, Twix goes with astrophysics. But now that I know that what keeps Twix solid over hours and days and maybe even years, down in stuffy Ex Libris, is a special type of weird, harmful fat, I just can't get myself to buy one. But diet Coke alone is just depressing, so I needed some kind of trans-fat-free treat. Since Ex Libris does not serve pastries of the quality that Mireille Giuliano or I would demand (well-aged scone, anyone?), I went with Sour Patch Kids. In retrospect, these will probably harm my teeth more than the occasional Twix would my arteries, but that's really beside the point. Upon opening the bag, I remembered that I only like the yellow and orange ones, but now I've got all these red and green ones....It's a hard life. Expect further updates on equally profound matters around 4 am, when I reach the problem set's halfway mark...