1: No individual below the age of 18 (16 if they look especially mature) or above the age of 25 shall wear low-slung pants.
2: No individual employed by a university is to have sex, ever.
2a: Exceptions made to the above only for lecherous male professors over the age of 65 who have achieved a certain degree of fame within intellectual circles.
3: No person not enrolled in a university may wear low-slung pants, unless such attire is required for religious or ceremonial reasons.
4: If an individual employed by a university but also a student at that same university is wearing low-slung pants, he or she will be forced to remove them immediately.
I see you've included the "harold bloom" exception at 2a.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that requiring those wearing low-slung trousers to "remove them immediately" would be an aesthetic improvement. At best, we'd be treated to winter-pale buttocks bisected by floss-thongs.
ReplyDeletePTL! I was beginning to fear that this issue would continue to be underexposed.
ReplyDelete