I'd like to receive home delivery of the New York Times...

...so I can get headlines like this one in print:

"Abercrombie & Fitch May Be Cool. But Cool Only Goes So Far."

Just how far does cool go? I didn't bother reading this article, so I'll never find out.

And really, if even trucker hats are past cool, then isn't Abercrombie even further away, having never even had a moment of Lower East Side glory?