I've never been much of a fan of hats. They mess up your hair if you have hair, and a man in a hat always leaves people wondering if the hat is there for a reason, i.e. no hair. Better to just see the baldness from the get-go. Like tweed, elbow patches, and carrying around old books as accessories, hats are compensation devices for those who wish to be seen as intellectual but feel their credentials are lacking. As a response to all the inexcusable pro-hat propaganda on Crescat, here is a bit of dialogue from Seinfeld, in which hats are systematically demystified and deglamorized:
George: All bald people look good in hats.
Elaine: You should have lived in the twenties and thirties, you know men wore hats all the time then.
George: What a bald paradise that must have been. Nobody knew.
Elaine: Well, you can wear a hat all the time now. Who's stopping you?
George: No, I can't. What if I meet a woman? I'd always be worried about that first moment where I'd take it off and see that look of disappointment on her face.
(It remains to be seen if Mr. Baude of Crescat fame will consider this anti-hat post sufficient fodder for picking a fight. If not, libertarian-bashing will follow. Sadly I'm not entirely anti-libertarian, but vouchers, dude, that's a terrible, terrible idea.)
Hats only mess up your hair in cases where the circumference of your hair is greater than the circumference of your hat. If your hair is that "done", you don't need a hat. If your hair is just lying flat and the hat messes it up, then you need a bigger hat. (This issue is one I've personally dealt with. I've had good experience with Parkhurst hats. Their "Spenser" cloche is adorable--I need to buy a new one to replace the one I lost.)
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