Rescued!

Today some of my friends staged an intervention, removing me from the Internet as we all went to see the movie "Saved!", in which a girl gets pregnant after trying (unsuccessfully, of course) to make her boyfriend straight by sleeping with him. Other things happen, too, but that's really the meat of the matter, so to speak.

In any case, for those who are either gay men or, alas, straight women, the movie is chock full of hotties, from Maculey Culkin, who has aged well, to the girl's gay boyfriend and her eventual straight admirer, played by actors whose names I won't bother to look up.

I was a bit confused by one aspect of the movie: the token Jew at the Christian school where the film takes place, though anti-Christian and with dark hair, is in no way Jewish, although she is referred to as such throughout. She is skanky (as indicated by her visible thong and her tendency to shove her tongue down the Maculey Culkin character's throat), and "bad" (as indicated by her chainsmoking) but her rejection of Jesus as a potential lord and savior seems to come more from punk rebellion than from a belief that the Messiah hasn't yet arrived.

First, some advice:

"What would you do when you're in the Reg bathrooms and the thing flushes insanely and then doesn't flush when you need it to flush?"

This highly relevant question was posed by one of What Would Phoebe Do?'s loyal readers who shall remain nameless. I, too, have had this problem, and offer the following solution:

One possibility is to avoid the Reg bathrooms entirely. Bathrooms in the Reynolds Club still have the old fashioned flushes, and, in times that are not emergencies, one may simply walk across 57th Street and there you go! Another possibility is to make less use of Ex Libris, purveyor of the soda and coffee responsible for many trips to Reg bathrooms. Dehydration is always good. The most reasonable solution, however, is to emulate the wise and noble students who protested against Citibank, Taco Bell, and the Red Line Shuttle, and form a massive campaign to remove the automatic flushing devises, which are a manifestation of American imperialism at its worst. (Why should University students have access to the automatic flushing toilets while members of the Hyde Park community do not?)

Next question, please.

Portable Email and More!

Part advice column, part exercise in narcissism, and, for the uninitiated, part spinoff of a much-read Maroon column, this, my first solo blog effort, will be read primarily by me but others can join in the fun if they so choose.

The New York Times has oh so much to say about portable email, and I eagerly await reading this when I'm more awake...