tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post6570685208381180216..comments2024-03-12T22:31:46.500-04:00Comments on What Would Phoebe Do?: Idiosyncratic disadvantagePhoebe Maltz Bovyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-8625326354240308872013-10-16T18:41:58.556-04:002013-10-16T18:41:58.556-04:00Fourtinefork,
Oh, there's definitely shame - ...Fourtinefork,<br /><br />Oh, there's definitely shame - thus why most of the "poor" childhoods one hears discussed loudly are actually people who grew up somewhat wealthy but not quite as much so as those around them. Scrappiness oneupmanship tends not to be a game played by the actually scrappy. Meanwhile - I promise! - some of us who grew up in NYC to well-educated parents spend grad school self-flagellating over having not done anything all that impressive, considering. OK, I did - not sure anyone else does.<br /><br />But there's still, I think, a certain relative social acceptability in having overcome socioeconomic obstacles as versus having overcome some kind of family tragedy that's both more idiosyncratic and difficult to convey. While the situations you describe were no doubt awkward, you must (?) have on some level realized that people making such comments were impressed by your trajectory. (Unless they were just being snobs. Also a possibility.) Whereas revealing a past of abuse/illness/miscellaneous severe dysfunction... an obstacle's still been overcome, but there's both more stigma, and, conversely, more of a sense that such an individual probably didn't have it so tough, if their family had money.Phoebe Maltz Bovyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-65212656243637707312013-10-16T17:51:50.903-04:002013-10-16T17:51:50.903-04:00Hmmm, I don't know about the lack of shame of ...Hmmm, I don't know about the lack of shame of introducing oneself as from a poor family. <br /><br />My family isn't poor (midwestern working class, which is sliding into something else these days), but I certainly didn't want to trumpet my background when I was in college. Nor in graduate school. I'd occasionally get comments-- when people found out where I was from (mere location, without any further info on my background; for all they knew, my parents could have been small-town doctors or lawyers or factory owners)-- asking how on earth I'd managed to get where I was coming from where I came. It was, and remains, uncomfortable. <br /><br />fourtineforknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-15329354719525510642013-10-16T15:42:23.572-04:002013-10-16T15:42:23.572-04:00It's because this is how the privilege framewo...It's because this is how the privilege framework operates. There are certain categories that are generally recognized as obstacles. And yes, a <i>visible</i> disability would count. But basically, no, there's no shame, in a meritocratic-type context, in coming from a poor <i>family</i> and having achieved as much as someone whose parents also went to whichever Ivy. If anything, the reverse. Which isn't to say there isn't social exclusion if you didn't grow up going to whichever yacht club. <br /><br />Whereas if you got straight As despite a dysfunctional childhood, or a serious childhood illness that left no visible trace, this is impressive, but also something where, however impressive it is, making the information public is difficult. Difficult both because of the sensitive nature of such things, and because they're not generally looked upon as making someone anything other than capital-P Privileged. Phoebe Maltz Bovyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-70857897687965736032013-10-16T11:15:44.562-04:002013-10-16T11:15:44.562-04:00I think disability is a legally-recognized categor...I think disability is a legally-recognized category, which makes it even stronger in some respects than the flexible social category of "poor." (Which of course demands, but HOW poor?) Still though, wouldn't you feel sort of ashamed to introduce yourself as "poor" or even "low-income" to strangers, even if so doing gave you a boost? It seems categorically different from saying, "I'm black," a descriptor in which there is no shame or blame. Miss Self-Importanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04477849823290773026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-8886381726456958242013-10-16T10:10:23.667-04:002013-10-16T10:10:23.667-04:00I suppose because there's a well-established t...I suppose because there's a well-established tradition of believing that those who are poor or first-generation college students deserve a boost, which encourages those who are to be open about this. Whereas "I'm deformed" is more of a private concern, one that doesn't fit into some generally-recognized category of underprivilege. Phoebe Maltz Bovyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-31020530487113454522013-10-15T22:08:05.508-04:002013-10-15T22:08:05.508-04:00But why would you want to lead in with "I'...But why would you want to lead in with "I'm poor" or "my parents are uneducated" any more than you'd want to lead in with "I'm deformed"?Miss Self-Importanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04477849823290773026noreply@blogger.com