tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post8267633323924170327..comments2024-03-12T22:31:46.500-04:00Comments on What Would Phoebe Do?: On effort, visible and hiddenPhoebe Maltz Bovyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-6406897290194542112009-12-06T22:10:45.524-05:002009-12-06T22:10:45.524-05:00MSI, Paul,
Nothing wrong with blazers - they can ...MSI, Paul,<br /><br />Nothing wrong with blazers - they can look quite chic. The problem comes when the blazer is meant to say 'I'm clearly so much more intelligent and well-read than Mr. North Face sitting next to me.' <br /><br />"How does the object of attempts to please observationally distinguish efforts to please women/men in general from efforts to please this particular woman/man?"<br /><br />All kinds of ways. Take gifts. There are gifts purchased for A Woman (or there wouldn't be diamond shops, flower shops...), and then there are gifts purchased for A Person. There are also, from early on, some clues that the target of efforts is Some Man or Some Woman - with men, this will include taking a woman out to a too-fancy restaurant, and with women, it will manifest itself as expressing whenever possible a lighthearted indifference to 'where this relationship is going.' (As the brilliant Dan Savage points out, even casual relationships are typically try-outs for potentially serious ones, and this cuts across gender and sexual orientation.)Phoebe Maltz Bovyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-2513342750218448202009-12-06T21:41:33.765-05:002009-12-06T21:41:33.765-05:00Extremely interesting.
My experience from TAing...Extremely interesting. <br /><br />My experience from TAing is that I'm actually lots more critical of the self-consciously "intellectual" people -- but I can't tell whether that's because their tigers are actually paper and I can discern it or because I'm hypervigilant for pretentious emptiness. <br /><br />(An extremely fashionable bff -- the one who talked me into the jeans -- has convinced me of the merits of sports coats and blazers, but on general looking put-together grounds rather than on appearing intellectual grounds... is this misguided?)<br /><br />How does the object of attempts to please observationally distinguish efforts to please women/men in general from efforts to please this particular woman/man?Paul Gowderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12987034334075962676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-23674018303812239032009-12-06T21:14:25.490-05:002009-12-06T21:14:25.490-05:00Sprezzatura.<i>Sprezzatura.</i>Withywindlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11465319711207992232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-35981593333528688562009-12-06T20:41:15.482-05:002009-12-06T20:41:15.482-05:00Right, teachers were taken in by even melodramatic...Right, teachers were taken in by even melodramatic displays of effort. I mean, among students.Miss Self-Importanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04477849823290773026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-54846373883407731202009-12-06T19:43:39.110-05:002009-12-06T19:43:39.110-05:00"in high school, any visible effort at all wa..."in high school, any visible effort at all was too much effort"<br /><br />To other students, yes, but teachers I remember as divided on the matter.Phoebe Maltz Bovyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-66071755564708406572009-12-06T19:28:00.808-05:002009-12-06T19:28:00.808-05:00"He might even wear a Blazer. (For whatever r..."He might even wear a Blazer. (For whatever reason, women do not go in for this.)"<br />Yes, why is this? I own three blazers (though one is purple velvet--excuse: thrift store...). I still aspire to be a woman who wears blazers, but it's true that only one actually looks good, and then only as outerwear. <br /><br />Also, I recall that in high school, any visible effort at all <i>was</i> too much effort--it demonstrated that you lacked "natural intelligence" and were probably Asian (ie, a robot). The general equation ran: Success - Effort = Intelligence.Miss Self-Importanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04477849823290773026noreply@blogger.com