tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post4837512905505583844..comments2024-03-12T22:31:46.500-04:00Comments on What Would Phoebe Do?: Why 'Ban Men' is not the answerPhoebe Maltz Bovyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-49189770384685966652017-12-06T03:44:53.671-05:002017-12-06T03:44:53.671-05:00One more amendment - I should have said I have neg...One more amendment - I should have said I have <i>negative</i> desire for anybody to see me as a victim.Andrew Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13453328821252013152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-57917432706807742852017-12-06T03:34:03.966-05:002017-12-06T03:34:03.966-05:00Oh, I wanted to correct an overstatement of my own...Oh, I wanted to correct an overstatement of my own. While I have no doubt that public interest and media bias play a large role in why it's "always a dude," obviously male reluctance to report female sexual harassment also plays a large role.<br /><br />As a young man, I must have been sexually harassed dozens of times by handsy young women (and a couple of times by gay men). I am reluctant to talk about it and frame it as sexual harassment because A) I was not and am not traumatized by it, B) I do not feel like a victim because of it, C) I have zero desire for anybody to see me as a victim, and D) I do not share the (general) female horror of being aggressively flirted with or even sexually harassed by someone who is "below my league."<br /><br />On that last, I vividly recall one of your commenters here, years ago, candidly talking about being flirted with by a "neckbeard" and horrified to think that he thought he had a chance with her. In our gendered society, women get to play "above their league" while men generally do not. Most (though not all!) women are reluctant to sleep with men who are "beneath them." Most (but not all!) men have no such reluctance. Because I do not share that horror, if a woman flirted with me or even sexually harassed me and I had no desire to sleep with her, I still always let her down as gently as possible.Andrew Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13453328821252013152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-81947255721629698862017-12-05T14:54:41.645-05:002017-12-05T14:54:41.645-05:00Note that this supports your point about female de...Note that this supports your point about female desire! It just also rebuts the need for some alternate explanation like being taught wanting=getting.Andrew Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13453328821252013152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-34536593431485805842017-12-05T13:37:42.586-05:002017-12-05T13:37:42.586-05:00When I wrote about this previously - here! - I men...When I wrote about this previously - here! - I mentioned that my own only experience with this sort of harassment in a work setting was from a woman: http://whatwouldphoebedo.blogspot.ca/2017/10/yes-i-guess-all-women.html So rest assured I'm aware that women, too, can harass.Phoebe Maltz Bovyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996039330841139883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146512.post-14991145619137497812017-12-05T13:29:30.936-05:002017-12-05T13:29:30.936-05:00I'll just leave this here.<a href="http://slatestarcodex.com/2017/12/04/against-overgendering-harassment/" rel="nofollow">I'll just leave this here.</a>Andrew Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13453328821252013152noreply@blogger.com